Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever set out to do. There are days that I just want to throw in the towel and walk away, okay, not really that may be a bit of a stretch. Many times I've found myself saying, okay, thinking, why on earth did I want kids, please someone remind me. Many times during the day I finding myself breathing deeply as to not explode and act in a manner that I know would be inappropriate. I love my children so very much. They really do mean the world to me. So why do I have a temper? How do I become a better parent? I've often thought of taking a few parenting classes. Trent took one at UVSC last fall, what a joke that class was. We won't even go there! But in all seriousness I really want to be a better parent. I want to be able to remain clam and patient through out the day, and enjoy spending time playing with my kids. Am I dreaming?
There was a time when I loved kids. Loved them so much that I pursued a degree in which I would become a preschool teacher. I taught preschool for a few years and loved it. I was good with kids. I knew how their brain worked and operated. I was patient, and gentle, I truly loved what I did and found it very rewarding. So what is my problem now! I have no idea what to do with my three year old who tests me in new ways everyday. I thought I'd have this parenting thing figured out, but I'm far from it.
Way back when I was in college I took a parenting class, it was required for my degree. In that class we talked about a quote from Boyd K. Packer: "The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior." This quote runs through my mind many times a day. The study of the gospel will change behavior faster than the study of behavior will improve behavior. Ahha! I've got it. I can set down the parenting books. I do enjoy reading them, but my focus needs to be on studying the gospel.
I've noticed such a difference in myself when I take the time to read my scriptures and have my personal prayers. Carter is still Carter and he will always do things that I don't want, but let's be honest, things a three year old should be doing. It's totally normal for a kid his age to do the things he does. The one who needs the changing is ME, not him.
It's such a simple thing, but one I'm still working to perfect. With what little faith I have I will study the gospel in hopes that it will make me a better parent. Hold on tight....this will be a fun ride!
5 comments:
Thanks for sharing that quote! I hadn't heard it before, but it does give me a lot of hope.
I love that quote. I had heard it before but forgotten it so it's a good reminder!
Thanks for writing that Janel, that's exactly what I needed to hear. I've been really struggling for quite some time with my children and now that we've put them in the same room, with Hayden in a big boy bed, it has only gotten worse. Hopefully things will get better now! Thanks for your frienship and support! I know things are going to get better!
I am not in parenthood land yet, but I remember vividly my mom telling us stories about how lucky we were to be alive ( we were such brats). We tested her to no end, but she was always an avid reader of the scriptures and it gave her such knowledge and peace so much so that I go to her first instead of Heavenly Father...hmm. So I'm fixin my priorities and set a goal to read the BOM in 30 days and I'm on day two and it has made such a HUGE difference in the patience dept. I don't know why I forget these things, but its nice to have a reminder. Relax though I think Carter is a good kid he's so much fun to have in primary he always has something good to say. I'm glad to almost have you as neighbors :)
Great post. I think my perspective is a little different because I waited so long to be a mother. That doesn't mean there aren't days when I just want to shut the door and put myself in time out - and Baylie isn't even at the hard stage yet.
My nephews are a lot like Carter. I figure I'd rather have a boy be rambunctious and wild than sit in front of a t.v. all day. Carter is going to be a great kid - he already is a great kid. And you're a great mom.
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